if only i could text you this smell
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
