I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize