on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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