my mouth tastes like poor choices
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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