How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
