I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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