btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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