i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
