Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
