Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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