i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
