So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Text me some of your sweat
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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