I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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