She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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