we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Randomize
