Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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