Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wish they made helmets for livers.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
