omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
