So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
