She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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