Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
