I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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