i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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