take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He had one of those small greek statue penises
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
