your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
either way he was missing a nipple.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
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