it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
