They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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