Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
