I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
