So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
