I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
