kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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