We won't sleep together?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think my moral compass just broke
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
