OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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