I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize