sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
