Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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