16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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