margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
