At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
