And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
