sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
