I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
