i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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