Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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