I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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