at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Shame - the story of my life.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
