I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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