I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
