Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
