I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
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he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The adults are the big ones right?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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