have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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