I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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