he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
