I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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