no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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