When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
What a dumb baby whore.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize