Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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