Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
