are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
