I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
