Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
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I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
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Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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