dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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