it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
